An easy way to comfort a child going to a children's hospital
Is your child nervous about going to children's hospital? Would you like to know how to calm those nerves?
A combination of love, child psychology and this little book
works in almost all cases!
So, You're Going to Hospital?
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Front cover
A Note to Parents
I had several aims in mind when I wrote this booklet. First and foremost, I wanted to make your child’s impending visit to the hospital something to look forward to, in order to make it an easier time, not just for him/her, but for you also.
Second, the “dos and don’ts” concerning medicaments are strongly emphasised, along with some observations on consideration for others and general behaviour, health, hygiene and morality.
Third, I’ve tried to strike a balance between ‘kiddie’ English and a more advanced style. The objective here was to maintain your child’s interest with simple words and sentences which he/she can understand, while simultaneously stretching his/her curiosity to ask you what the more difficult words and sentences mean. Do feel free, however, to take the initiative and explain things. Moreover, you’d be surprised at how much your child can understand, merely by the way you read the text. By these methods, my intention was to enhance your child’s vocabulary and use of the language.
Lastly, I hope that the habits of correct spelling, punctuation and grammar will be more easily acquired, and will complement your child’s formal education. Throughout this book, the words have been chosen carefully, with a view to correcting common mistakes before they occur, and to draw the distinction between similar, but different, words.
Have a successful visit to the hospital!
Steve Avery.
Using Psychology When You Take a Child to the Hospital
Mental Preparation
A Child Alone in Hospital
Probably the most important thing to keep in mind when you take a child to hospital is your constant assurance that he/she is not alone in the experience. And I mean "constant". You should never, not even for a moment, allow any hint of the child being alone to creep into your conversations.
Child psychology is a profound subject, and you may not realise that even an apparently innocent use of the future tense when you talk to the child might give rise to some sub-conscious consternation in his/her mind. So, for example, say "The nurses are always watching over you, even while you're asleep.", rather than "The nurses will always be watching over you, even while you're asleep." If you cannot perceive the nuance in the effect of these two ways of saying the same thing, please, just take my word for it: they are different.
Unless the circumstances are unusual, it is unlikely that both parents are able to stay with a child in hospital for the duration of the treatment. If it's not possible for at least one parent to be there at any time, do try to arrange for a grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, etc. to cover for you. If there are any gaps, do prepare your child in advance for them by saying that he/she can make new friends in the hospital ward. "It's exciting to make new friends, and you can continue to see each other when you come home!"
Keeping a Child Occupied in Hospital
Boredom is not an Option!
It is essential for a child in hospital to have familiar objects close at hand, be they toys, books, a favourite blanket, etc. (Ensure that every such item is spotlessly clean before you take the child to the hospital.) Such items comfort the child in unfamiliar surroundings. Psychologically, familiar items alone rarely achieve a 100% effect to avoid boredom, because of their very familiarity. Ideally, there needs to be some new item or items which are given to the child specially because he/she is going to hospital. This is to stimulate the child's mind, as distinct from bringing comfort. This also provides an incentive for the child to go to hospital, rather than a reluctance.
The "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet is ideal for this purpose. If the child becomes bored in hospital, his/her mind will wander to the real reason why he/she is there. You certainly do not want that to happen!
A Hospital Adventure
The Distraction Ruse
Make the impending visit to the hospital sound interesting; like an adventure. Most children have a competitive nature. If you can distract your child's mind from the real reason for the hospital visit, it'll all be over before you know it. The "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet can achieve both of these aims; Your child's visit to the hospital can seem like both an adventure and a competition. Either print out multiple copies of it from the downloadable version, or order several printed copies of it, and hand them out to the other kids in the same ward, and tell them what to do with it. Of course, you'll whisper "secret" advice to your child, so that he/she can win. That'll make him/her even more excited!
The Difference between Positive and Negative
For a child, going to hospital should not be an event to dread, but one to look forward to. How your child perceives the visit is in your hands, as a parent. Emphasise the positive things, and play down or avoid the negative aspects. Talk about the results of the treatment, rather than the reasons for the treatment. For instance, "When you come home, you can join in sports / eat ice cream / (whatever).", rather than "The doctors will take away the pain you're feeling." or "You won't need to take those pills any more." Are you getting the idea?
The Importance of Information about the Hospital
Kids are not Fools
There's no point trying to fool a child about the reason why hospitals exist. They are for curing ills, mending bones, etc. They are not playgrounds or fun places for "sleep-overs". If you mislead your child in that way, it may have a detrimental effect when he/she discovers the truth from other children in the hospital whose parents have not read this page. The effect might even be traumatic. If you're tempted to follow that path, think again.
Obviously, informing a child of the details of the impending operation or the medication is likely to have an equally traumatic effect. Try to strike a balance between the two extremes. Ideally, the amount of information to give to a child going to hospital should be just enough to pre-empt him/her from asking awkward questions. If a child asks a first question, you can expect more questions. This you do not want to happen. It is a slippery slope to either worrying the child with too many unpleasant details or to misleading him/her. You can solve this potential dilemma by using the "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet, specially designed for the purpose.
The Hospital Through the Eyes of a Child
It's not only the hospital building and the machines which can make a child nervous; hospitals also contain strange-looking people: doctors, nurses, porters pushing trolleys and wheelchairs, elderly and young patients in their pyjamas. You and I think nothing of such sights, but imagine them through the eyes of a child, especially if it's the child's first visit to a hospital!
Unfortunately, there's nothing one can do to avoid these sights. The only solution is adequate preparation by telling, or better still, by showing the child what he/she will see in hospital. This is where the "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet can help. Indeed, it is invaluable in this respect, because it takes all the hard work and thought off your hands for you.
By their nature, hospitals are usually stark, looming, daunting buildings which can instil fear into an impressionable child. Even gaily coloured drawings on the interior walls cannot disguise the endlessness and narrowness of the corridors. Some of the machines on view, which adults see as harmless, may seem to a child to be similar to a weapon used by an evil warlord in a science-fiction cartoon.
The Most Important Person in the Hospital
When a child goes to hospital, he/she is thinking less than usual about parents, friends, school. Uppermost in a child's mind is ME. What is happening to ME? That's why the "So, You're Going to Hospital" booklet goes to great lengths to make "ME" the most important and special person in the hospital; the main character in the adventure; the hot favourite in the competition.
Whatever the reason for your visit, when you take a child to hospital, you need to be able to use all your senses and think in the way your child does. It is no easy task, but, if you succeed, it can be a less distressing experience for both you and your child.
Other books in the "So..." series:
So, You're Going to Kindergarten?
So, You're Going to School?
So, You're Going to Camp?
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You can add special instructions to us when you order the printed version. For example, you can add a message like "Get well soon!", if you ask us to post it to a child who is going to hospital.
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